Blogging is hard
Blogging. I’ve been trying to do this on and off for the past couple of years and it seems like it still isn’t sticking. Whether it’s due to lack of time, working a full time job, comparing my own blog to so many others or just general laziness, I just can’t do it.
I’m a very organised person, at one point my friends even had a hashtag they would use for me #massorganisation . Though I am still extremely organised to this day, it frustrates me that I can’t keep my blog up and running when I know that I easily could.
I am a sucker for comparison, you can read about it in my blog post here and I feel like my constant need to compare myself against others is making me fall out of love with a lot of things. It sounds so silly, and I always have to remind myself that everyone starts somewhere, that you can’t be the best immediately but my patience and emotions always get the better of me.
I have tried different approaches from taking batches of photos in one day, to scheduling posts, to writing mumbo jumbo about something I didn’t even care about just to try and get a post up, to stay relevant.
Let’s face it, I don’t know a lot about Make-Up or Skincare, I haven’t much fashion sense, I don’t know what the latest trends are and I’m too anxious or I’m always working when events are on.
I’m sitting looking at my notebook, where I’ve scrounged Pinterest in an attempt to see what I could write or blog about, I’ve searched through so many other blogs to see what the latest style or edit is and as I delve deeper the more frustrated I get. Why can’t my blog be like that? Why can’t I take good pictures? Why can’t my layout be perfect?
There is a lot of why’s in that last sentence, I expect to click my fingers and everything to be fixed. I’m not sure whether it’s because of the glamourized Instagram accounts, the stories of bloggers over the news, or the yotube bloggers that have gave me such high expectations and the feeling of failure when I don’t succeed.
I think there is such a large amount of pressure to have an online presence these days, through social media, YouTube, Instagram and of course in blogging. I found myself constantly focusing on how many reads I was getting, how many likes on my Instagram pictures and wondering why these weren’t higher and what was I doing wrong.
I quickly realised this was unhealthy, so I took a step back from everything, from blogging, from taking pictures of flat lays, from comparing myself to others, from trying to get the perfect insta grid and from worrying that I was doing something wrong. I took myself out of the game to recover and rebuild.
I’m still not 100% and I’m not going to push myself to jump head first, but I am going to make a few changes. The first being to blog about what I am interested in, what I like to do and what is happening in my life. I will not stress about perfect flat lays, or what other bloggers are currently doing. I will believe in myself and blog for me, not for numbers, for stats or for fame and fortune.
I take my hat off to those who do this with a full time job, those whose job it is to blog! You are supermen and women and you are all such an inspiration to the rest of us. Same goes for those who upload daily, who never miss a post, and those that are so dedicated to their blogs.
I absolutely adore the blogging community here and how supportive it is. I have made so many friends and still continue to (when I decide to show my face at events). Hopefully one day I’ll be one of those people, but for now I’m happy enough just being me.
I’ll see you all soon <3